we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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