Who did Billy Mays play for?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
