I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
