Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
