there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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