i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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