Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
