just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
