i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
