we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
