If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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