It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
