You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
