This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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