There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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