I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Blood and glitter go together right?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
