your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
