hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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