I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
