I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
