Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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