bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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