Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
