1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
