she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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