the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Pants 0. Shit 1.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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