We're like a lot better than the average bears
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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