Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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