I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
