U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
