Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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