That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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