My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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