so that wasnt chicken after all
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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