I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
