Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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