I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
