I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
