I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
