As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
