One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
