No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
