So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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