My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
