6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
