It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
