I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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