I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
