Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
don't judge my taste in strippers
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
