So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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