I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
